Turning Pro

I’ve been reading Turning Pro by Steven Pressfield (again), and I had this epiphany. He writes a lot about that moment when you turn pro and I was thinking of when that happened for me. It was that moment on that day on a New Year’s cruise in the middle of the Caribbean when I realized I had to find my father. That was the day I claimed my identity, that was the day I turned pro and not  the day I submitted my first novel or song. That all followed in due time.

And part of me heard this speech in my head for those voices that say I’ll never be as good of a musician as my half-siblings and their offspring, those who grew up knowing my father, while I did not.

And then in true Steven Pressfield fashion, this voice in my head said, “I don’t give a sh*t” what any of those people think. After all, I came before them. The only person I respect is my older half-brother Ricky because he came before me.”

It also occurred to me how little respect we give to those older than us. But it’s an ancient practice, one that we should all pay attention to.

The point is, though, that I’m now questioning (again) if music should be the muse I follow first and foremost at this time in my life, or if it’s time to get back to writing fiction. As much as I love music, and I do, I miss writing speeches and making pronouncements in character (instead of here on my blog).

So what does 2022 look like for me? Is it time to return to writing novels? I guess the answer depends on which scares me the most moving forward, and which scares me the most if I don’t move forward at all.

Or maybe being Pro means I do both.

The Only Words I Can Hear Are Sung

Maybe it’s living in a social media world, a world of reality TV shows, or maybe I’m just getting old (life experience) – lol! But I can’t take any more shouting from the world. And I’m about to go off on a rant about…

All the special interest groups speaking as if the rest of the world is “entitled.” In fact, I was just reading Write, Submit, Forget, Repeat and, sure enough, he started talking about “White Entitlement,” a phrase I, honestly, do not care to hear ever again. And not just because I’m white. It’s because it doesn’t solve the injustice.

I get it. In fact, I not only get it, I’ve lived it. I read Black Like Me when I was in high school and it changed me forever. I was a kid in Orange County, California when the Watts riots took place in nearby L.A. I moved to San Francisco in the late 70s, the hotbed of the gay community, unusual in its time. I don’t need to be “enlightened.” I don’t have “phobias.”

As a white woman, I dated Hispanics and saw how the cops treated them differently. I’ve been in a car with a white man and have been hassled and threatened by cops. I’ve been a woman alone and a woman in a group of women and have been mistreated by cops. Heck, I’ve been a woman on a bus, a woman in a doctor’s office, and a young girl in my home when I didn’t feel safe from a man in authority.

But saying other people are “entitled” is the wrong approach. In fact, that’s looking at the wrong end of the problem. Bullying people who seem entitled about being “entitled” isn’t going to change anything. That implies they have something they shouldn’t. Taking that away from them isn’t going to fix it when feeling less entitled.

Call a problem by its real name. Not pander, prop up, or politicize it.

And, for goodness’ sake, leave it out of a book on how to be a better artist, musician, writer, etc. Art is blind. Make the music, paint the painting, tell the story. Message received.

My ears only listen to the music.


“I’ll Be Home For Christmas” #EDM #Remix (#LogicPro #Music #Production)

Well, remixes are just too much fun and I found myself doing a little something to Elvis’ “I’ll Be Home for Christmas.”

DJ Track Highlighting My Favorites from the 50/90 Challenge #2021 (#50/90 #Songwriting #MusicProducer)

As we count down to 2022, I figured it was time to create a DJ track of my favorite songs from the 50/90 challenge (writing 50 songs in 90 days). It is now available on MixCloud (mixed for headphones):

“She’s Not That Good” Goes Cruising…

I just returned from 7 nights on the Carnival Panorama still in her inaugural year that was cut short due to, well, you all know. She’s a beautiful ship, the cruise fare was a bargain, and no flights were required. Besides all that, I was hoping that freshly back from a cruise experience, I’d be overflowing with ideas on how to finish She’s Not That Good. I think I’ll have to wait. Why? Too much reality interferes with my imagination – lol!

What I will say is that my favorite part about cruising, besides being at sea, is being able to casually drop in and listen to a live band. Our favorite this cruise? The House Rock Band that played in the Ocean Plaza Bar, the best kept secret onboard the Panorama. We grabbed a couple glasses of wine and sat outside where we could take off our masks and still enjoy the music. I listened to the beats and my muse can’t wait to get back into the studio to write some new music.

But first we kicked off the cruise by indulging in the tasty “Orangesicle” (think “Pina Colada”) at the Tides Bar in the aft pool area.

The other favorite spot was actually the Atrium, a redesigned space on the Panorama that I wasn’t too fond of at first. Until I had a Tequila Sunrise, an old favorite cocktail from my youth, at the base of the Atrium. The atmosphere was much better, to me, lower rather than higher.

And I think that’s another favorite thing I like about cruising, Carnival cruising, in particular. I feel young again. And now I may be inspired to get back to writing.

Aft Pool, Carnival Panorama

Orangesicle, Tides Bar

Prosecco and White Wine, Ocean Plaza Bar

Tequila Sunrise, Bahama Mama, Panorama Atrium Bar