One Year Ago (Today) Original Song #50/90

I posted the original lyrics written in the wee hours of the morning as a tribute to my father’s passing, one year ago today in the John Wayne and Jacqueline post.

Then I took the story and wrote an EDM track, with stripped down lyrics, compete with groggy vocals, all recorded on GB on the iPad with earplugs in the living room so not to awaken the house. Here’s the outcome:

John Wayne and Jacqueline (#lyrics #poem #50/90)

They drove down to Tijuana
He asked her do you wanna
They headed for the courthouse
To pledge their love as man and spouse

Today one year ago
He left us don’t you know
How hard to say goodbye
I cannot even cry
Drowning in the lies
Until the day I die

They drove up to San Francisco
Amidst kisses and moonlight glow
Cable cars under the stars
Waiting to be sent off to war

Today one year ago
He left us don’t you know
How hard to say goodbye
I cannot even cry
Drowning in the lies
Until the day I die

Waving good-bye to the ship
Under the Golden Gate Bridge
Promising to faithfully wait
Surrendering to chance or fate

Today one year ago
He left us don’t you know
How hard to say goodbye
I cannot even cry
Drowning in the lies
Until the day I die

A handsome stranger stepped in
Deep blue eyes, an Elvis grin
Promised her the moon
She couldn’t help but swoon

Today one year ago
He left us don’t you know
How hard to say goodbye
I cannot even cry
Drowning in the lies
Until the day I die

Little baby on the way
Did not stop her walk of shame
The letter started with “Dear John”
His wife and child now were gone

Today one year ago
He left us don’t you know
How hard to say goodbye
I cannot even cry
Drowning in the lies
Until the day I die

Life goes on
I must be strong

Remember When (#poem) (#lyrics) (#50/90)

Big problem haunting me
is now resolved
Not feeling excitement
but relief
Sneaking in day by day
can barely celebrate
Searching for the home I
vaguely recall

This is how this chapter
ends then
From a caterpillar
to a butterfly
Leaving behind that life
I know not why
Forever recall with
“remember when”

Remember when his breath smelled good
First beer, first kiss out in the woods
Remember when the grease smelled nice
Flipping burgers on a Friday night
First job, first car was “Out-a-sight”
Remember when
The way it was back then

Now I ask
oh where is home
Now that the old one
has fled and gone
To be content I must
cease to long
From here on out am I
called to roam?

Remember when his breath smelled good
First beer, first kiss out in the woods
Remember when the grease smelled nice
Flipping burgers on a Friday night
First job, first car was “out-a-sight”
Remember when
The way it was back then

I hear a song
writing in my head
In that moment
I am always home
Memories are close
I record on my phone
And thumb through photos
to remember when

Remember when his breath smelled good
First beer, first kiss out in the woods
Remember when the grease smelled nice
Flipping burgers on a Friday night
First job, first car was “Out-a-sight”
Remember when
The way it was back then

 

Home (#poem)

I went home again
But this time was different
Initial stirrings of joy turned to emptiness
Confused, I wondered
Feeling sad
Until I knew what had changed
I had

I was not relieved
Just disappointed
For now I feared I would wander
Forever searching for home
And then I knew
Home is a feeling I have when
I’m with you

Does it matter then
What I will dwell in
Is it about the new and shiny
Or is the functional enough
Working stove, sink, air conditioning
A bed to sleep on
A place for love, laughter, and weeping

The past is gone
The memories linger on
Grateful for what’s now dead
When all is done and said
Music my new companion
Yesterday’s stories long told
Tomorrow I grow one more year old

 

True Grit (#lyrics #poem #50/90)

Watching the remake of “True Grit”
For the first time after I met him
I thought of my father known as John Wayne
Named after his hero, he lived up to it

I sat next to him in English class
He told me he saw me with a man like that
Years later I see what he saw that in me
I knew who I was when I put down my mask

True Grit not taken lightly
Reputation, integrity at stake
Trustworthy and strong, reliability
Doing all things for God’s sake

I write my songs so differently
Listening to the beat of a different drum
Wandering back to where I come from
On the road of discovering my identity

True Grit not taken lightly
Reputation, integrity at stake
Trustworthy and strong, reliability
Doing all things for God’s sake

Remembering when true grit was part of life
Our heros loved Real Women
Not lingerie models once hidden
But respect and honor and prayers at night

True Grit not taken lightly
Reputation, integrity at stake
Trustworthy and strong, reliability
Doing all things for God’s sake

Highway Noise (#lyrics #poem #50/90)

The rhythm of the highway noise
At six o’clock in the morning
Playing like a drum beat
The troopers are storming
down the road, chasing dreams
before the day releases heat
I begin my day, my choice
Banging on my toys

In a world of men statistically
I don’t let that fact stop me
Never thought I couldn’t do anything
Just because I am a woman
Move over boys
It’s all just highway noise

The rhymes come to me before my coffee
Timbaland’s tips on making beats
Inspire me to follow my heart
Destiny I must not cheat
My father told me from the start
Reading my writing from afar
His words meant so much to me
Now he’s gone how can it be

In a world of men statistically
I don’t let that fact stop me
Never thought I couldn’t do anything
Just because I am a woman
Move over boys
It’s all just highway noise

Driving cars on a highway fast
Expecting men it seems
Babies and all their accessories
Women discuss by the kitchen sink
Sitting on the front porch I dared to be me
Listening to men talk about beer that’s free
If I couldn’t be free I’d never last
And highway noise is just more sass

In a world of men statistically
I don’t let that fact stop me
Never thought I couldn’t do anything
Just because I am a woman
Move over boys
It’s all just highway noise

Fool for A While (#lyrics #poem #50/90)

You told me lies
about loving me
You were just in love with yourself
You came by
almost every day
Wooing me to take me off the shelf

I was a fool
for a while
Only cuz I wanted to be
I no longer
have that need inside
It’s time to stand up to you
Time to stand up for me

Don’t know why
I fell for you
On the rebound, feeling desperately
He was the one
I really loved
So you swooped in so sneakily

I was a fool
for a while
Only cuz I wanted to be
I no longer
have that need inside
It’s time to stand up to you
Time to stand up for me

Must have been weak
Must have been crazy
Too darn proud
A bit of lazy

I was a fool
for a while
Only cuz I wanted to be
I no longer
have that need inside
It’s time to stand up to you
Time to stand up for me

I was a fool
for a while
Only cuz I wanted to be
I no longer
have that need inside
It’s time to stand up to you
Time to stand up for me

 

Dig in and Hold On (#lyrics #poem #50/90)

Fifty Ninety (50 songs in 90 days) is starting in a couple of days so it’s time to start writing poems in more of a song form for potential songs.

I’ve been quiet for too long
Sitting at the library reading those books
Writing in my diary dodging those looks
Gotta show ‘em who I am
Show ‘em what I’ve got
Not gotta lie down, I’m way too strong

Stomp, stomp, scream and shout
Let your inner diva out

Dig in and hold on
It’s time to make some noise
Stuck in my head for way too long
Pedal to the medal, come on, girls, let’s race some boys

I dug out old photographs of my old boyfriends
The ones he “made” me throw away
Instead I hid them along with my dignity
Jonesing for a second chance
now he’s down and out
Begging for some money I could lend no doubt

Stomp, stomp, scream and shout
Let your inner diva out

Dig in and hold on
It’s time to make some noise
Stuck in my head for way too long
Pedal to the medal, come on, girls, let’s race some boys

Not gonna feel guilty
He had more than a second chance
Running through women, drugs, and money
Laughing like the truth was so funny

Stomp, stomp, scream and shout
Let your inner diva out

Dig in and hold on
It’s time to make some noise
Stuck in my head for way too long
Pedal to the medal, come on, girls, let’s race some boys

Stomp, stomp, scream and shout
Let your inner diva out

Dig in and hold on
It’s time to make some noise
Stuck in my head for way too long
Pedal to the medal, come on, girls, let’s race some boys

More Than Just a Dream (#poem)

Many arts call me but which should I follow
To give myself completely and deeply to
One thing I know for sure are the things I would rather not do
That others may love but leave me feeling hollow

Shopping centers and strip malls
Hairstyles, make-up, YouTube videos
Writer tales of outlining leave me cold
Stuck in their head, no feelings below

Music pulls me through the tough times
Heartbreak and breakups
Feelings of not being good enough
Beating like a heart, in time with the rhymes

Writing opens the valve letting out the steam
Music digs up the deep joy that I feel
Saying it, writing it makes it too real
Too alive and dangerous and more than just a dream