Category Archives: FAWM

FAWM 2019 (Original Songs)

Today is the last day of FAWM (February Album Writing Month) 2019 and I finished all 14 songs. Songwriters have different goals for FAWM but it’s a time to experiment, get creative, try different things.

This was my second FAWM and it went a lot better than my first. I’m making progress – yay! I noticed that I did a lot more EDM than before and I’m thinking that’s turning into my strong suit.

Here’s my playlist for FAWM 2019.

Worship in the Waiting (#poem)

Worship in the waiting they say
These words I recall lying awake
Writing, singing, working all day
Are distractions I welcome but only delay
The peace to panic transition the nighttime obeys

We’re not alone in our fears
In our struggles and overflowing tears
When our strength seems to disappear
When we’re down on our knees
Begging please please

Like writers writing fiction
Seeking love, loss, and friction
Musicians share their heart and their stories
Waiting forlornly
For answers that give Him the glory

Remember the truth and the blessings
In trials, tribulations, and second guessing
As Mary pondered the love of her life
After Good Friday comes the Easter Sunrise
Worship in the waiting conquers the fear in the lie

Sleeping in a Stranger’s House (#poem)

Daytime I see the snow-capped mountains of home in the desert light
Night time I hear screeching and scurrying under the first flight
Consciousness tells me it’s the heater roaring on a colder than usual night
Imagination weaves a story about a monster living underground
The sounds surrounding me startle me awake reminding me I’m sleeping in a stranger’s house

Money and a contract give me the right to call it mine
But my heart remembers a home of a different time
When family and memories made it more than just a mortgage and I knew I belonged
But all of that has changed and everything feels so wrong
Like landing on an unfamiliar planet where once upon a time I sang a familiar song

Living in a stranger’s house is like living in a foreign body
Looking in the mirror at an amusement park or traveling carny
The familiar is distorted, upheaving your orientation, spinning you round and round
Uncontrollable reeling, desperately seeking balance to keep you from falling on the ground
If six months in feels like home, you’re halfway there counting down

Larger Than Life (#poem)

He was larger than life
How could he be gone
And the house where we lived
How did it all go wrong?

If I could turn back time
I’d do it in an instant
But one thing I’ve surmised
To enjoy each moment as you live it

Counting the days until that special thing
Not knowing the losses you’ll know by then
Painful lessons life does bring
The moment is lost and won’t come back again

And before you know it, another is gone
They said he, too, was larger than life
He may have been, but he was not the one
Who taught me about love
That gift was my Skipper and Lovey, his wife

 

FAWM Day 5: Howling of the Wind (#poem)

Rat-a-tat on my window pane
The treetops holler from the third floor
Like a stranger knocking let me in
Pounding loudly outside my bedroom door

The slider on the second floor rattles my nerves
Is Daisy safe hiding in an unreachable place?
Should I tiptoe downstairs in barefoot curves?
Dodging life’s bullets hurling in space

Slurping kitty quiets the mouse
And the raging fury of the desert wind
Stills my heart praying for grace in this house
While the muse gathers strength to show up again

Creativity hides from a quiet life
Yet the artist resists her vocation like the Prophet Jeremiah
The priest reassures me about suffering and strife
A human lost in confusion in a broken Hallelujah

Once I was lost and now I am found
And the howling of the wind spins round and round…

(My middle-of-the night offering to my King)

FAWM Day 1

This time last year I began my first FAWM (February Album Writing Month). It nearly killed me – lol – but I was hooked.

Okay, I managed to survive, but it was very stressful. My chest muscles tightened and it hurt to breathe. By the end of the month, I even caught a cold.

I debated all year about whether to FAWM or not to FAWM again this year. We’re going through a very stressful time right now. I don’t need more stress right now. But I really enjoyed the community of supportive musicians and the songs I wrote were used throughout the year in various circumstances. How could I not FAWM?

I posted my first song for FAWM 2019 and now it’s time to do some laundry and read and relax, a day I would have been thrilled to have back in my Silicon Valley days. So maybe the answer is to take one day at a time. Gratitude. Live in the moment.

FAWM Day 1 = done!

50/90 Day 3 (#poem)

Her false sense of importance and a lack of genuine love
Launched an army to reflect a self-image of being better and above
With a stand-in father pretending to be what he could never be
I learned the truth from the real man on a mountain top of redwood trees

We talked and talked about everything and everything under the sun
Until at last we turned to music like something just stumbled upon
With a long line of instruments played and a musically discerning ear
He hugged me and held me close, peace shutting down my fears

Whoever says “any man will do” hasn’t walked in these shoes
And is bound to repeat mistakes until they do, too
It’s the same old story from the beginning of time
Learning hard won lessons just like mine

50/90 Day 2 (#poem)

Narcissist or Sociopath whatever the name
You hid it well your walk of shame
Hiding in plain sight with the hero in black
The first sign of foobar throwing away the white hat

Troubles between us brewing now and then
Your secrets and lies spun your little children
Like a playground merry go round banging your head
Uncovering the truth about the men you wed

Just another American family looking good on the outside
In a world of corruption, chasing sin and vice
Running away from our Creator slapping His hand
Reinventing ourselves pretending we the man

The world spins on as everything is questioned
And the world isn’t round I’ve even heard  mentioned
Men are women and women are men
The guns rage on and violence never ends

Oh my dear ladies and fellow man
Swearing like a street hood in Gangsta rap
The dignity of the Black man creating Jazz and Blues
Has surrendered to the fight and taken you

We’re headed in the wrong direction and I can’t stop this thing all alone
Like a boulder thundering down the mountain in Indiana Jones
I need your help can’t you see
It starts with Jesus, then you and me