#Blogtoberfest Day 21: Go Dodgers

So excited that the LA Dodgers are going to the world series that I just had to change my profile pic to me in my Dodgers hat. My first pro baseball game was at Dodger Stadium when the SF Giants played the Dodgers and the Dodgers won. My aunt was living in San Francisco so when she came down to visit, my stepdad and brother stayed home while the women went to the game – lol!

Later, I would learn that my father and his family were big Dodger fans, although my dad once said, “The Dodgers will break your heart.” I grew up in Orange County so after that game I became an Angels fan and later lived in the San Francisco Bay Area for 23 years so I was a SF Giants fan. The truth is, we’re all fans of baseball.

After I met father and family, I learned that my grandfather pitched for the Memphis Chicks until my grandmother asked him to give up the game and help her with their three little boys – my dad, Uncle Jim, and Uncle Don. He did and started singing and playing in a band. She didn’t like that either with all the woman hanging out there. Later, toward the end of her life I was able to hear her say on a family video that she regretted asking him to give up baseball because it was his dream.

I’m sad for grandpa, never knowing if he could have made it. But what I’m sadder about, still, is growing up without knowing my father and his family, even though we all lived about half an hour apart. (see Myths of the Fatherless for that story.)

Grandpa, top of photo, dad on the far right, at Dodger Stadium for the Angels vs Indians game

#Blogtoberfest Day 17: Living in the Moment (#poem)

When I was a child, I knew how to live in the moment
No bills to pay, no past to replay
Anticipating the next adventure
Beach, park, or reading all day
Alone or joint venture

When I was a child, I had no worries to bother with
Maybe a few, such as dishes or dusting to do
Begging them off while watching Disneyland fireworks go off
Dreaming of becoming ‘big, rich and famous,” didn’t you, too?
Confiding in that one friend who wouldn’t scoff

When I was a child, I dreamed of the future
A wife, a mother, even a movie star
Ironing and watching Password or the Fugitive like mother
And don’t forget “My Mother the Car”
After playing outside with my friends or my brother

Today I vow to live in the moment
No worries, no past, just the next step on the way
Anticipating the moment’s adventure
Beach, park, or reading all day
Writing without censure

#Blogtoberfest Day 4: Writing When Life Gets in the Way

It seems that as soon as you set a goal, life gets in the way. It certainly has me spinning right now and this is not how I expected my October to go.

I’m not really sure what set Shadow off, but it seems as if he’s having a set back in grieving Skipper because he’s started howling for hours at a time again. Suffice it to say, we’re not getting much sleep around here. And, therefore, not a lot of writing or songwriting. But if I finish #Blogtoberfest, well, I guess that’s a writing accomplishment.

We’re all missing Skipper but knowing how much Shadow is missing Skipper makes it all the harder to cope. But what makes me smile is this photo of the two of them together, knowing how close they were. We printed and framed it in remembrance.


2-year-old Shadow leaning into big daddy, Skipper at 15. Skipper left for the Rainbow Bridge on July 11, 2018 after blessing our lives for 18 years!

Walking-Inspired Writing

In today’s chapter of Pep Talks for Writers by Grant Faulkner, I read about how walking is inspiring for writers. Julia Camera also speaks of this in the Artist’s Way.

I discovered the joys of solo walking when my family first moved to the Pacific Northwest from Southern California in my late teens. Walking was cathartic and inspired my imagination. I think by then the family scene was overwhelming to me and in an effort to think my private thoughts and to escape the mashed potatoes on the dinner table (lol), I would skip dinner and go for a walk.

Eventually, at different times my younger sister (10 years younger) would ask to come with me so I told her she could if she didn’t talk. This was my oh so important alone time. She agreed to those terms and perhaps she also enjoyed the quiet companionship along with her own private thoughts.

We leaned on each other at various times of our lives. But she grew up and had a little girl and now her little girl is all grown up and has her own little girl.

Auntie and Niece

Great Niece

 

California Screaming (#poem)

Tom Petty sings about it, where life is messy
A world without dads and cold spaghetti
The California dream has its limitations
In a land of make believe and illusions

They looked at me with awe and envy
I couldn’t complain, every day was Thanksgiving
Seen through their eyes beyond their reach
Me living a perfect life at the beach

It came as a surprise when I realized
My dad was not my dad but a dad in disguise
I had to smile and hide my real feelings
Wondering about my “real” dad and if I had other siblings

Years later I found him with other children
They didn’t want to know me for I had been hidden
Don’t believe what they say when you’re California dreaming
You might just end up California screaming