Train is a popular metaphor in songs – it can represent many things. Adventure. Wanderlust. Moving on. Hard times.

People sometimes say, “Aren’t you over it yet?” Like a train, life keeps moving on and whenever new events occur, well, they can trigger an old hurt, an old wound. Because life moves on, you never really get over some things. It stays with you your entire life. You can only hope and pray that each time something happens, you will handle it better and the pain will lessen.

Death, funerals, births, family reunions. All things you aren’t a part of because you aren’t a part of the second family – the only family they want to think exists. You represent the thing they don’t want to think about. They want to believe they are the “original 5” or the “only 4” as if nobody came before them.

This is why I love Mary Gauthier – she writes and sings songs about these inconvenient truths. Love the line, “I’m moving on through the pain…”

So this song about moving on is a good one to lift my spirits as I go through yet another event where it’s obvious I’m not part of either family. It’s as if I did something horrible to them. The truth is, my only crime is existing.

I know that in the hearts of those who matter most, my family and I exist in a special way. That’s what they’re really afraid of. So I’m holding onto that gift as I move on through the pain.